addiction
the cynic is now an ADDICT?
yup, that’s me. i just had this pining to write and write and write for no solid reason at all. writing has become an end in itself, without the need to be productive or to prove anything. i don’t care about structures or norms or rules; this time i am FREE.
u see, writing is one of my professions . so everytime i strike the keys of my computer keyboard, i usually have a goal in mind. to finish a project. to earn.
but after the rediscovery of this freedom, it became once again an expression.a tool to explore my uncharted self. a channel to guide my energy and creativity [or weirdness, whatever is applicable]. and a means to calm my restlessness. . . it is like drinking cool water when everything around me is hot. . .
at this point, im feeling better already.
i’ve just been shaken from my involuntary hiatus. HAPPY that i would be doing another project? yes (i’ve been praying for this!). SCARED? definitely! haha! once again, i need to set my mind, to be organized, and most of all to be DETERMINED.
what is so extraordinary with this kind of unstructured work of mine (maybe some people can relate, if they ever took the pains of reading this mess) is that every assignment is unique. there is no repitition of task and most of all, no routine. this is the kind of life that will keep me going. i am not caged into some organizational chart. the mission and vision i am carrying out are my own.
whew! i am just warming up for the pretty long work i need to do tonight. hehe…conditioning ba! so pano? tata for now! =)
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